She’s human, not Divine.

Dear Yogi Muse:

I was wondering why there are so many unyogic people doing yoga? Can you shed light on this?

Dazed in Denver

Dear Dazed:

The discussion began with a blog about people behaving unkindly in yoga, and then a whole lot of people behaved unkindly especially to the person who wrote the blog. And that would be me.

Then there was a yogi who enjoyed a beer on occasion and he too got the finger in Denver – pointed at him for being unyogic. I know this yogi and I love him like I love a dog who chews my shoes. Believe me, having a beer is the least annoying thing about this yogi.

And somewhere there is a musician who also got called out, but because I am tone deaf, all the happy people chanting sound the same to me.

Which brings us to the question:

Why are there so many unyogic people doing yoga?

In my opinion, it would be because they are human.

As a teacher, I have taught yoga to many unyogic people. Some were competitive with others in the room. Some thought they knew it all. Some just didn’t know the poses – yet. And at times, I admit I have been all of those people.

So to be more yogic, I will drink gluten-free vodka, sing OM a little louder and I might change my name to Shakti-the-bhakti.

However, I will not be pointing the finger at others,

Because compassion is a harder but truer path than judgment.

 Here are some reasons why a few yogis do not think I should be practicing yoga:

• I am too old. I am over 50 so therefore, I should not be out in public in Luon. At least one major yoga clothing manufacturer has said so.
• I am a soccer mom. There is a great deal of backlash or public poo-pooing against people who have opted to raise their children in the hopes of making a better world one little yogi at a time. In fact, one review of my book said it was great, “even if it was by a soccer mom.” Right? Like whom the hell put food on your table years ago and drove you to yogi practice? Right?
• I live in the suburbs. I know it’s ridiculously un-hip, but I have good schools, a small yard and a Starbucks nearby. It’s the circle of life.
• I am authentic and outspoken. This is actually the real reason some consider me unyogic. Instead of pretending to be perfect and divinely empowered, I am simply human. I am a slightly older, outspoken vegan who eats chicken, and is mostly sober except for drinking vodka, soccer mom yogi who tells it like it is. I am not afraid to admit I’m not perfect and that I don’t have all the answers. I’m am not afraid to speak in a real voice, and not the “yoga voice” of let’s all love each other, all the frickin time. I am just who I am.

I hope by doing this it will assure the more unyogic yogis out there that they do not walk alone. I am here for all the humans practicing yoga. In my yoga room, sinners are welcome.

I would rather be unyogic, than self-righteous.

So for those who say that I’m not yogic, let me say Duh. Last I checked, I’m human, and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. But this is the thing about yoga; it’s a path not a destination. All we can ever do is better the next day.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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I was in my basement office when my son came down to say that a bomb went off at the Boston Marathon. Then he returned to say that he just saw a man without legs.

I was getting ready to teach in a few hours, after dinner, homework, laundry and now apparently this, a horrific traumatizing event in my living room.

Parents have to keep it together for their children, although truthfully he was dealing with it better than I was. Yoga can make you ultra-sensitive to the injustices of the world. I know a student who gave up yoga because she found herself crying at the sight of meat.

Yoga teachers, in turn, have to keep it together for their students. No matter what is happening in the world, many of us have a class to teach. However, it’s pretty hard to come back from seeing a murdered eight year old with a smile on your face. Playful yoga inversions? Not so much. Heart openers? I’ll pass. Open our hips to feel free? It all sounds bogus to me. What you really want to do is let out a primal scream.

But of course, you do not walk into a room of hurting students and scream. Not if you want to stay employed. And besides, they feel just as terrible as you do.

So how do you offer inspiration in times like these?  Sri K. Pattabhi Jois was famous for saying, “Yoga not easy.” And neither is teaching it. Believe me, just like yoga, teaching is a practice too.

The short answer is you do the best you can.

Unfortunately, I have had some experience in this. On the morning of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I was riding my exercise bicycle and watching the television. When the news bulletin came on, every fiber in my body said “turn it off,” but you don’t, do you? You watch and then the tears come.

After I made sure my family in Connecticut was okay, I was still crying hysterically when I arrived at the studio to teach. Then the students arrived, some in tears, and everyone hoped I had a yoga cure. I did not.

What I did was lead a set sequence from Ashtanga because it seemed like putting one foot in front of the other was about all we could do.  Right foot forward. Left foot forward. Utkasana. And slowly the breath arrived. At the end we huddled in a circle and Om’d.

Columbine, 9/11, Sandy Hook, the Aurora Movie Theater, the Boston Marathon; it doesn’t end. And somewhere there is a yoga teacher scheduled to get up in front of the room, paste a smile on their face and lead everyone to the promised land of presence, peace and positivity.

Perhaps the best we can hope for is, as Pema Chodron says, “Simply be present with your own shifting energies and with the unpredictability of life as it unfolds.”

If you are teaching in times of tragedy, I might suggest the following:

• Skip the theme. If you are upset, do not attempt to theme your yoga class. Every class needs asana and breath, but the theme is optional. Finding presence is enough.
• Ignore the elephant. Everyone knows it’s there, but you do not have to mention it. You can start the class with Child’s Pose. Only mention the traumatic event it if you feel you can make it uplifting or enlightening. If you say, “Innocent children were killed this morning,” your class will not recover. But if you say, “In light of today’s events, I’d like to offer this class to the support of families everywhere,” you have a chance to turn it to good. Of course, I will still be crying in the back of your room.
• If you theme, go small. Try a ‘One Word Theme,’ such as ‘Courage,’ or ‘Faith.’ Even just a simple word repeated a few times will inspire your students.
• Do not fake it. If you don’t feel “love” then don’t say it because you think it’s the yogic thing to do. Students can smell a fake and it makes them shut down their own feelings. Suggesting that we should love everyone including murderers is fine, but not if you don’t truly mean it.
• Be real, but don’t open a vein. Do not bleed out on your students. They have their own messes to deal with and they don’t need yours. You must be able to offer: Insight, Experience and Inspiration. Otherwise, have a cup of shut up and get on with the yoga.
• Remember your mission. Remember why you decided to teach yoga, and stick to it. If you can offer your students a safe place to experience their own authentic reactions, then this is possibly the best reason to teach in times of crisis. Allowing students permission to be present, even if it is painful, and stillness to absorb the meaning of the moment, is truly the gift of yoga.

This article was excerpted from the book, Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga (Wildhorse Ventures, 2013) For more information on how to skillfully theme your yoga class, you can find the book at Amazon.com or at yoga studios nationwide, or follow Michelle Marchildon, The Yogi Muse on Facebook.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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I’m starting to wonder about yoga, the practice I love and the people I adore.

There was a major yoga scandal last year, actually there were about six of them, but not one was mentioned in the yoga publications. NOT ONE.

There was a book that documented serious injuries that could be caused by yoga, which was roundly poo-pooed by yogis (even by me). However, I have adjusted my teaching to clarify the more dangerous poses.

There are studios who take advantage of teachers, and teachers who take advantage of students, and an industry selling teacher trainings, clothes, merchandising, marketing, retreats, festivals, videos, books, crystals, balancing bracelets, and a bunch of other stuff that promise to make you yogic.

But let me make one thing perfectly clear: I LOVE YOGA. I love it even though it is not perfect, and I love the teachers who are human. I love this practice the way a mother loves a child: UNCONDITIONALLY.

So when a yoga media company recently claimed to be a “real voice,” I had to sit up and take notice. Like every other form of yoga media, this program has never, not once, put anyone even slightly controversial in its lineup. It’s all been love and light. That’s a real voice?

There is a lot of fear in yoga. Studios are afraid that if students discover that yoga is not perfect, they will quit. Yoga magazines are afraid that if readers learn that enlightenment takes work, they will cancel their subscriptions.

And everyone is afraid of going out of business, well except for me, because as a writer I don’t have much of a business, so what the hell.

So I got to thinking, what does it mean to have a real voice in yoga?

• A real voice in yoga does not judge others who are not “love and light.” Darkness is the most straightforward path to the light because you can see the flickering star.
• A real voice in yoga values different perspectives. Rather than drown them out with criticism, or with silence, they welcome the conversation. There is nothing to fear in education.
• A real voice in yoga speaks from the heart, even if the things we say may cause discomfort.
• A real voice appreciates differences because we know there’s more than one way to be right.
• A real voice in yoga is not all peace and happiness, because that is not reality, although it could be about peace and happiness at times.
• A real voice means saying the unpopular thing. Like certain yoga brands don’t appreciate older yogis, or that some people in yoga are occasionally mean, because we want to make things better.
• A real voice means you are not afraid of change, and you welcome it if it makes things right.

Therefore, if someone is telling you they are a real voice in yoga, and that everything is love and light, and the only thing that matters is love, and people are always good, and the world is always sunshine, and if we chant our hearts are one, and that your butt looks good in Luon, run. That’s right, run.

If you want to grow, then you want a teacher and a voice that will tell you the truth. When you fall off the path they will guide you back to where you are going. They will tell you when your pose kind of sucks, and help make it right. They will show you the way and they will love you unconditionally.

A real voice, even a yogic one, doesn’t ignore reality. A real voice appreciates your gifts and your flaws, and loves you anyway. That’s a real voice in yoga.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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Let me tell you what I really think about the anonymous internet comments that plague just about every writer these days.

I think they suck.

On the one hand, I admit, it’s pretty nice to hear that I have supported, encouraged and given voice to millions (okay, maybe just a hundred or so) of people around the world who are looking to do better on the mat, and in their lives. I mostly hear from those people privately on email.

Then there are the ones who tell me that I am “a caddy (sic) unyogic bitch who should not be allowed to teach yoga.”  Well, just to clear this up, I do not carry my husband’s golf clubs. But I can be kind of a bitch and I’m definitely not yogic all the time. It’s a lifelong endeavor.

According to the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, a study showed “that comments with enough vitriol will actually cause people to change the opinion they had after reading a nuanced, balanced article.”

I am not quoting this Journal. I am quoting Time magazine’s Joel Stein, who quoted this journal, because he hates this stuff as much as I do. And because he writes as many nuanced, balanced articles as I do, which are practically none, we both get a lot of anonymous internet comments.

So when the first comment on my blog is typically “I hate this writer and everything she says and she is such a stupid, bad person, and definitely not yogic and also I hate the way she looks and she’s not even vegan and everyone knows you need to be vegan before you can write about yoga, and I read two other articles by her that I didn’t like either. But there was maybe one sentence in this story that was okay.” I tend to get really excited and say, “Thank you!”

So surprise, the comments actually do change people’s minds! In fact, most of my friends used to think I was brilliant and funny and insanely wise after reading my book, Finding More on the Mat. But now that I write for the Elephant Journal, they think I am just insane.

Girlfriend:           How do you deal with those comments?

Me:                        With Xanax and Vodka. But not together.

GF:                         I thought you were going to say meditation.

Me:                        I tried meditation. But my way is better.

To put the internet comments into perspective, let’s talk about a blog which had a yogi claiming that I harmed her because she was the anonymous person in a fictional anecdote, which was assisted by her claiming to be the anonymous person.

That blog generated about 3,500 reads. Out of 3,500, 190 “likes” were recorded on Facebook. There were 64 comments, 20 of which were from people who were negative. So 20 negative commentators out of 3,500 reads is .0057%, which is not even one percent! I piss off way more people just going to the grocery store.

Right about now I can hear the editors on Elephant Journal huffing and puffing about the importance of the comments and how they build a unique and loving community which together we will learn and grow and change the world. To which I say, sure.

In the meantime, I am letting everyone know that I am taking a lesson from Mr. Stein and I will not be reading the comments from this blog. I already know I’m not yogic or perfect, and I also know that in some people’s opinions, at least 20 of them, that I will probably go to hell for writing a crap article.

Meanwhile, if you want me you can find me cleaning my husband’s golf clubs because you never know; they may be right. Perhaps I am just a caddy bitch after all.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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One of these bellies has a baby yogi in it.

I recently clicked on a video that promised it would get rid of my belly fat. After all, I am in favor of anything that will get rid of my abundant midsection, especially if all I have to do is click.

Up until now, I’ve tried dieting, exercising and even prayer, but nothing seems to work. And now everywhere I go, I see offers to get rid of my baby bulge.

I am not alone. According to Harvard University, the United States has a lot of belly fat. In fact, this video on how to get rid of “unsightly belly fat” is at nine million views.

First of all, this is a misnomer. Belly fat is not “unsightly.” In fact, it is front and center with absolutely everything I wear. However, I have fixed this: Please see the strategically placed typewriter on my publicity photo.

It used to be that our fascination with weight was seasonal: You can count on weight loss ads in January for resolutions, and in June for bikini season. But again, this is a misnomer as anyone with “unsightly belly fat” usually does not wear a bikini unless they also bring their typewriter along.

Now our national obsession over belly fat has overcome our concerns with revising the gun laws, the economy and environmental issues. In fact, I searched for environmental issues on YouTube, and of the 32,000 videos made by anxious parents of middle schoolers, the most popular had 29,000 views. One had three, two if you don’t count me.

So, just for fun, I put “belly fat” into YouTube, and 613,000 videos came up! You know I can’t make this stuff up. One had three million views (2,999,999 if you don’t count me). Then I put “belly fat” into Twitter and this very handsome man appeared:

He does not need my typewriter.

 He does not need my typewriter.

Which brings me to my point: We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t cure belly fat? Or as my girlfriend reminded me last week, we also can’t seem to get consistent cell phone service anywhere outside of Starbucks.

So I went to Livestrong, where Lance Armstrong may have a lot of trouble right now but he definitely does not have a spare tire (yuk yuk). And lo and behold, there is an article on belly fat!

According to Livestrong, “belly fat is the most dangerous type of fat of all because it could increase risk of high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke.”

But this is the best part; you know what they recommend to cure belly fat? YOGA! Yes, here it is:

“The sun-salutation sequence from yoga, for instance, is a particularly effective exercise to lose belly fat.”

Yes try yoga. Everyone says it works. Or try a typewriter. I cannot promise that yoga actually cures anything, but I can guarantee at least that my typewriter will fix belly fat. Click here for your money-saving offer if you want to buy one now.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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She did not actually walk into the building. She kind of sailed in on tiptoe, then with arms overhead she did a pirouette and landed at the front desk.

Entrances were her thing.

Within two weeks this woman had taken over the schedule teaching more than 20 classes a week, including mine. It happened so fast that I didn’t even notice it. At first, I needed a sub. Then she offered to take my class for the summer, because teaching then is hard for working moms. Then, I was out of a class.

“But everyone loves her,” my manager said when I mentioned that she was teaching four flow classes a day and maybe the students wanted to practice yoga with alignment.

Then, one day, I must have said something like “OMG” or “Fabulous,” and that’s when the Universe pulled back the curtain to reveal the tiny woman at the controls.

“Oh you should hear her imitation of you saying that exact thing,” my manager said. “It’s sooooo funny!”

That is how I realized I had been stung by a Queen Bee.

The term “Queen Bee” was coined in the 70’s after an article in Psychology Today noted that women who achieved success were often likely to block the rise of other women. Go figure. It turns out that after fighting the men to get to the top, we are the first to eat our own.

Queen Bees are vicious, and sneaky. They do not do their dirty work to your face. They do not say, “Please fix this report.” They whisper behind your back. They may say you are stealing when you are not. Or, they make fun of you with a wicked imitation.

In yoga, Queen Bees are everywhere. Those new to teaching yoga might think it is all love and light in the studios, but in fact, it is more like “Survivor.” The last one standing gets to teach.

Unfortunately, I never learned how to fight the Queen Bee. I went to a small high school (less than 100 students in all) and so I do not recall ever having encountered female hostility. With only 10 other women in my grade, we worked together.

To contrast, in 2011 a study of 1,000 working women by the American Management Association revealed that 95% of them thought they had been undermined by another woman. If they had surveyed the yoga business, I bet 100% would have answered yes.

Here are ways to know if a Queen Bee is buzzing around your studio:

• She tells you one day, “Gosh those pants make your butt look big!”
• Longtime yoga teachers are being moved off the schedule to make way for a “fresh approach.” It’s a 2,000 year old practice, right?
• While others worry, the Queen Bee is calm. When you confront her, she smiles radiantly to say, “I have no idea what you are talking about. But maybe you should consider retiring?”
• She is teaching every class in a desirable time. Yet she graciously offers you the Saturday night slot because “It is just too much for me right now.”

If this is happening to you do not worry. Karma will often do the trick if you cannot.

In the meantime, you can speak to others in the studio in an open and non-hostile way about what is happening. If Queen Bees thrive in the dark, then you need to shed light on their actions. Once their behavior is exposed, they are more likely to make exits their thing as well.

Editor’s Note: The anecdote, Queen Bee and manager described in this story are entirely fictional; however this situation can happen to anyone in any kind of business wherever there are women present.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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With his new baby yogi.

Reprinted from the Elephant Journal.

Darren Rhodes, international yoga teacher and asana model for the style formerly known as Anusara, was the first major teacher to leave the school in 2012 along with Christina Sell. Their departure sent shock waves through the community, and ultimately the fastest growing yoga school in the world foundered six months later.

Since then, Darren has been mostly out of view, tending to his Arizona studio, YogaOasis, to his practice and to the recent arrival of his first child. Elephant caught up to the J.D. Salinger of yoga and had a chance to ask him a few questions about life, love and the pursuit of the world’s hardest pose.

Michelle Marchildon, for Elephant Journal:

So, Darren, other than blowing up a yoga school, what have you been up to?

Darren Rhodes: We’ve been extremely prolific this year (Darren has produced 2 books, a new asana poster, created YogaHour, a 200YTT, recorded a ton of classes for YogaGlo and had a baby.).

MM: What has been best about post-Anusara, or the new normal for you?

Before, when I put out a product, or offered a workshop, there was so much resistance for trying anything new. I would have gotten calls. Now to be able to do it without resistance is a joy.

MM: What are you doing, now that you can do anything?

DR: YogaHour is definitely my passion. Originally, it was “Word of the day,” with a fun flow and music. Now, I’m focused on weaving in shape, safety and refinement instructions into each pose. A YogaHour class is more like hip hop than rock; it’s outstanding how many lyrics some artists can fit into a single song. YogaHour is like that without overwhelming the student with too much info.

When I used to go to an Anusara class, there would often be a 10 minute introduction, a chant that made students wonder if they were in a religious setting, demos, and partner work. That is not what I wanted out of a yoga class. I wanted to practice, not so much learn about asana or yoga philosophy.

I realized that if I took those things out, I could still offer the poses. Now, YogaHour offers 55 minutes of non-stop practice in a 60 minute class. We aim for 75 to 90 poses versus 19 to 25 in a typical Anusara class.

Students who come to YogaHour want to practice, they don’t want to leave their desk to sit at another desk. They want to stretch away their stress. Although I benefitted from demos and some partner work, it always felt like it interrupted my practice. So now we offer those things in workshops and intensives separate from YogaHour.

Our motto is to make the difficult doable, and the doable more difficult. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever taught, and a synthesis of everything I’ve been influenced by from Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Iyengar and Anusara.

MM: It may be old news, but inquiring minds want to know. What happened?

DR: By now many know that John (Friend, the founder of Anusara yoga) was attempting to kick me out of Anusara (over a dispute regarding the new direction Darren wanted to go with YogaHour, his book Yoga Resource and his studio). When it became clear that’s what he was doing, I realized I didn’t want to stay in! So, after fighting to stay part of Anusara for many months I just up and left. The moment I resigned I felt fully aligned with myself. I never regretted it for an instant. John and several of his generals had become a pervasive presence in my life so I felt very relieved to be done with all that.

MM: What teachers are you following these days?

DR: It’s great to see so many of my friends happy and thriving post Anusara. Since leaving, a lot of teachers have created classes and products that they align with 100%. I’m very into and inspired by YogaGlo (Darren records classes for the web-based studio). It has been so conducive to creativity and individual expression. You can use it to find inspiration for a theme, for a class, or to learn a new sequence. It’s all there. It’s been a fantastic resource for our community.

MM: Tell me about the “Word of the Day.” I am a fan because it’s simple, effective and lets the asana take center stage in a yoga class. How did you come up with this?

DR: The Word of the Day makes a difference in practice. It is something students look forward to and enjoy. They connect to the teacher, they can hear something about them, or their practice, and it informs or inspires them. If they are late to class, they are often bummed to miss the Word.

I watched so many teachers struggle to deliver a theme and not be clear on what they wanted to say. There is pressure to be anti-spiritual sandwich, which is where you state the theme at the beginning and the end but don’t weave it into class. In YogaHour, students consider the spiritual sandwich to be delicious – because the stuff in between is the asana. They are even happy with a spiritual pizza where the teacher shares the word at the beginning of class and never mentions it again.

MM: Spiritual Pizza! I love it. I modeled the ‘One Word Theme’ in Theme Weaver, on your Word of the Day. It’s a very effective model in my opinion. Do you have any advice for teachers when they start experimenting with bringing in inspiration to their classes?

DR: Some people have the gift of weaving in a theme. For others, it diminishes their ability to teach Hatha yoga. It takes time and energy away from what they are trying to do instructing the poses. If a teacher uses just a single word, they can usually nail it. It gives the teacher and the student a clear point of focus. It is the message of the day, and it’s short. It takes two minutes to deliver.

MM: Is YogaHour a flow class with a Word on top?

DR: Vague is in vogue, so I got interested in how much form can you bring into the flow. What makes YogaHour exceptional is that the teacher aims to systematically weave in shape, safety, and refinement instructions into every pose without inhibiting the asana. It feels like fast Hatha or something. 

But still, there are problems that come up which YogaHour cannot address. YogaHour does best when a studio also offers workshops and other kinds of classes where you can teach alignment in depth.

MM: I want to ask the question everyone wants to know. Is there a pose you can’t do?

DR: What I can do is recorded. And I’m sure there are plenty of poses I can’t do. I can’t do both feet to the armpits, a variation of Yogadandasana or Double Dragonfly in a hand balance. There is a great photo of Ana Forest doing that one. And I can’t balance on my head with no arms. When people ask me how do you do a one-armed Handstand and no-hand Headstand, the answer is very quickly. I took them out of the e-book because I felt that they just weren’t honest to my practice.

MM: How do you cultivate a practice like yours?

DR: I’ve met so many people who can bend and stretch way beyond me. A lot of what I did I just made it happen because I wanted it so badly. Even Hanumanasana is hard for me. I’m not about pushing myself anymore beyond the boundaries. I care more about the preliminaries. I really always cared about the form of triangle pose, more than say, getting into Scorpion.

MM: What pose is the greatest teacher for you?

DR: The standing poses. Standing Poses offer very little glamour or glitz. They are not distracting that way. They are hard to get motivated to do, relatively arduous, and take a lot of energy. For my spine, which once had a 40% curvature, and for my state of mind, there’s nothing like them (Through yoga, Darren has corrected his spine to having only 15 to 20% curvature these days.)  The standing poses bring my spine and mind into alignment. Doing a good long standing sequence creates a certain kind of oneness and delivers a sustained state of improvement for me. If I only had 30 minutes to practice, it would always be standing poses.

MM: What is it like to be a father for the first time?

DR: Being a dad to Dagda is the best dharma. And it’s the most demanding dharma, which is no surprise.

I find I have to practice to be the dad I want to be. I don’t practice as much, but I need the practice all the more. If I don’t practice today, then yesterday’s practice is useless to me. The only way I can draw on it, is if I did it today.

MM: Do you have a last word, from the man who invented the Word?

DR: Back in the day John attracted such a creative and capable group of people. As Douglas Brooks often says, “Keep good company for you are the company you keep.” The company I kept in Anusara Yoga was great company. I am grateful to still be keeping company with many that were once part of Anusara.

All and all, I think Anusara offered a lot to the evolution of yoga in the West and kudos to it for timing its dissolution perfectly.

MM: Like I say, I walk with other great beings on the way home. Thank you Darren.

 DR: Thank you, Maha Michelle. Muse on.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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Demos, demos and more demos.

When an entire school of anything – whether it is yoga or educational or even a cult-like community – collapses you can be sure it was not from one thing.

If one thing could tear apart a community, then a community wasn’t very strong in the first place. Challenges are meant to bring community together, not the other way around.

Let’s take the school of Bikram Yoga. The founder, Bikram Choudhury, has been a very bad boy. He’s in a dozen lawsuits and accused of sexual and emotional abuse. However, his school of yoga thrives today. The classes are packed and the teachers seem to be immune from the founders’ behavior.

In truth, I go to Bikram yoga regularly and my class has nothing whatsoever to do with the founder other than teaching his 26 postures in a sweat box.

Now let’s consider the school of Anusara. The founder was also a naughty boy and in far less hot water than Bikram Choudhury (In fact, the comparison is almost ridiculous). Yet the original school barely exists today. More than 1,000 teachers left, including the founder! What remains is currently in disarray, although some teachers are working to put it back together.

Why did it collapse?

Well, that’s the $64 million question, but one reason is this: the school had some systemic problems that had nothing to do with the founder. And let me add this: Duh.

Right? Because if the classes were packed, and if the teachers were thriving and if the studios were profitable, and if the students kept coming, then it would exist today just like Bikram Yoga. Again, excuse my American, but Duh!

I made some comments in this vein on a recent radio program and I think I have been misunderstood. My intention was not to “attack” Anusara. I loved that style and my teachers, and I even wrote a book about how much I loved it. How many other people can stand up and say they wrote a love story to a kind of yoga?

But truthfully, I did not go to my former Anusara class all the time. I only went once a week, because the other six times I practiced I needed more exercise. I am a very busy mom with a tight schedule, and most days do not allow me one class to listen and learn, and then another to get my move on.

Teaching Anusara had some requirements which contributed to this situation. To name a few:

• You had to use a heart-centered theme with a non-dual pulsating approach tied to the Universal Principles of Alignment and the flow of sponda in the Universe. And you know I can’t make this stuff up.
• You had to teach all five of the UPAs in order in at least 50% of the postures in every class.
• You had to create a centering, or dharma talk in the beginning that stated the theme, the UPAs, and connect it to yoga. And it was recommended that you sing the little song three times.
• Partnering, demos and props were not required, per se, but everyone knew you should do it.

All of which took time away from asana.

What I said on the radio show, was related to themes. I said a long opening of 20 minutes or more detracted from my experience of yoga. This was a regular experience for me, and I attended more than 1,600 hours of Anusara classes throughout the United States for more than seven years.  Once, I attended a weekly 90-minute class that had a 45-minute opening. FORTY-FIVE MINUTES!

The founder also recognized that his teachers needed help, and he was in the process of implementing some new rules around a 10-minute opening and set sequences which would bring more “move” into many rooms. Why would he have done this if the long opening and too much wasted time didn’t exist?

The bottom line is this: today the school of Anusara yoga is trying to stay alive without its founder or 1,000 or so teachers. Many of the former teachers are taking what was really great about the system and incorporating that with other yoga techniques to make their classes better, including shutting up.

I am an advocate of all yoga, Bikram, Power, Anusara, Vinyasa, Yin etc. On my website I state clearly that the best yoga is always the one you do. I would never “diss” a style.

But if we are to learn from history, then the collapse of Anusara had some very valuable lessons for us as teachers and students.  I said, it was not the fault of any one person, rather, we were all in it together and I stand behind this sentiment. As soon as we can step up and take responsibility for our part in it, the sooner we will be able to move on even if that means staying in what is left of the school.

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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In my case, my family really has no idea what-so-ever of what I do. For instance, there is the day my mother in law came to visit, and when I told her I had to go to work, she said, “You work?”

For years I tried to get her to do yoga. In fact, I showed her poses and gave her books on it. But then one day she said to me exuberantly, “I am doing Silver Sneakers at the gym, and it’s wonderful!”

 “You know that’s mostly yoga,” I said.

“Well if it is, then I like it.”

Then it became apparent that my husband also has very little idea of how I spend my days. This was an interesting conversation recently in the Marchildon household:

Husband:             “Have you heard of MC Yogi?”

Me:                       “Um. Yes” (As in, I’m not living under a rock.)

Husband:             “I think we should get you a name.”

Me:                       “Like what?”

Husband:             “Like, ‘Little Yogi.’ You can be a rapping yogi!”

Me:                       “Just so you know, I’m ‘The Yogi Muse.’ And I can’t sing.”

Husband:             “Oh. Never mind.”

And don’t even get me started on my kids, both athletic and so tight they haven’t been able to touch their toes since the day they were born. Every now and then a coach will suggest they practice yoga. You know, everyone says it works.

Why is it that we can share the joy of yoga with total strangers, but when it comes to the ones we love they are often the hardest to get onto the mat? I’ve had to come up with some interesting ways to get my family on the mat.

Here are some tips to get the ones you love into yoga:

Make an offer they can’t refuse.

For Valentine’s Day, I will take A) A trip to Paris, B) A horse, with a beautiful new house and barn, C) A new kitchen, D) A shared yoga class. You don’t have to be a genius to play this game.

Make an offer they can’t refuse, take 2.

“And if we take Shelley’s class, I will let you go in the front row. By the way, Shelley teaches in a bikini.”

If this is for your wife or girlfriend:

“We can take Justin’s class.” Need I say more?

 If this is for your kids:

“If you practice yoga, you will do better at FILL IN THE BLANK.”

 If that doesn’t work, then try:

“If you practice yoga, then I will give you two weeks’ of allowance and excuse you from all chores.” I actually did that once, and it backfired on me. The next time, my teenager demanded more money.

 You could always try the truth:

“If you practice yoga, you will feel better, you will probably find happiness, and your life will be transformed.” But if they don’t believe you, or even the book you wrote, then play something by MC Yogi.  That will get them every time.

 Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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I don’t know how he feels regarding the sexual preference, because my preference these days is to get it over with as quickly as possible so I can get some sleep. But I have become an expert on Internet Trolls.

When I wrote my memoir — candid, revealing and true – I knew that it wouldn’t be long until the trolls came marching in. I knew this, and yet I did it anyway. It was the bravest thing I’ve ever done in my life and that includes getting married, having a child and eating rattlesnake.

Internet trolls are not just annoying. They are destructive. In yoga terms, they cause harm which has lasting consequences for everyone.

Cooper fought back against his troll by saying, “Why not use your name and photo, coward? Have some more Fritos and keep typing.” That landed Cooper on the national news where it was discussed, what else, how wrong Cooper was to tweet that the troll might be eating Fritos!

If you have anonymous internet trolls listen to me carefully: You will not win this battle. It is like getting into a pissing match with a skunk. You are either going to get wet, or you will get stinky. But winning is out of the question.

Since writing my memoir and a weekly blog, I have had internet trolls all over my case and now I might be an expert.

My first troll threatened to create a website dedicated to people hating me. To avoid this, the troll wanted to meet me at a secret location. I told the troll, and this is probably good advice: I do not go alone to stranger’s houses to meet with people who hate me. I just don’t think that’s a good idea.

My next troll called himself ‘Captain Oblivious.’ When I was critical of the Anusara scandal, the Captain called me a name that rhymed with runt. I can’t be sure what he threatened because I stopped reading after runt.

Now I have a troll who doesn’t think I’m funny! This is the most insulting of all my trolls, because I think that I am very funny. After harassing me for months, she threatened me, asked people to post bogus reviews on Yelp, and then called and threatened my employers to say they needed to fire me – or else!

The craziest thing about this was that there may be bogus reviews on Yelp! Who knew?

There is something about the pretense of anonymity on the internet that allows our dark side to come forward. Some of us may believe that being in the dark is the same as being safe to behave in any way whatsoever. It’s not true. This is my motto: What you do when nobody is watching is as important as what you do when everyone is watching.

Furthermore, there is no such thing as computer privacy. Electronics have little identifier tags and now people can tell who you are even when you sign your name Captain Oblivious.

I am often asked how do I continue to write a blog in the extremely treacherous yoga world? It’s not easy, but it’s about being afraid and doing it anyway. It is sort of like practicing handstand.

In fact, writing in the days of internet trolls is probably the second bravest thing I’ve ever done, after eating the rattlesnake. By the way, it tastes like chicken. But you knew that, didn’t you? (If you didn’t think that was funny, or if you want to protect the rattlesnakes, please don’t start a campaign to get me fired. Just let me know. Thank you.)

If the trolls come marching into your life, here’s some advice:

1. Do not engage. Trolls are seeking engagement so if you don’t they may go away. However, if that doesn’t work, then try to respond kindly and answer their concerns. There’s a chance they will go away if there was a misunderstanding, like, they didn’t get a joke.
2. Be firm if they cross the line. State that you will not tolerate threats. Do not counter-threaten them, just go to the authorities. A lawyer costs money, but probably not as much as you will lose if the troll is successful at costing you work. Internet shenanigans can be a local crime, or federal, or civil. Let the authorities decide how to handle it.
3. Document everything. Copy the emails, threats and postings before they erase it. Prepare your case before you have to make it.
4. Tell people you are being threatened. For a while, I felt embarrassed that I was so un-funny that I deserved to be fired (I know, I should be in therapy.). If you let people know you are being threatened, they will understand.
5. Speak out, not against. In the case where the troll wanted me to meet her in a strange house, I published everything instead. I laid the entire business out on my website, Facebook and Twitter, and several hundred supportive clicks later she disappeared. If others support you, strangely enough the troll goes away.
6. Stay truthful and stay fearless. Most of all the trolls want to bully you into being quiet. Try to stay steady on your path. Know that although one person is making a lot of noise, there are others who value what you have to say, and that you had the courage to say it. I know this is true, because I hear it from thousands of people every single day, and honestly that is the thing that keeps me going.

 Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of “Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga,” and “Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga.” She is a Columnist for Elephant Journal and Origin Magazine, and a contributor to Teachasana and My Yoga Online. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches Hatha Yoga in Denver, Co. You can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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